Comments on: The Seduction

By: michaelpanda

michaelpanda — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:45:55 +0000

while i think that allen is entitled to his opinion of course, I personally like the usage of the periods. It makes it interesting to read - maybe some might feel it is “broken up” but I think it lends an interesting “texture” to the prose. Especially reading it on screen I like the way the many periods introduce small bits of “white space” between sentences, kind of a staccato not only in your mind, but also visually on screen before you.

Maybe it might seem different if one had to read it out loud (though william shatner did pretty good with the short sentence bursts too ;) ) but as it is before me on screen, i like the extra bit of flavour or “flow” the story possesses. It makes you feel some of the emotion that might come with seducing someone on a beach. mmm.. beach. i wish i was at a beach right now. anyway, i love veronica’s writing and this is no different!

@chris: isn’t that a little harsh? damn. the guy just stated his opinion, why do you have to insult him? to use a completely random metaphor (of questionable applicability) if you said “i don’t like this rap song” would it be fair to say “the staccato and flow (of the rapper in question) is brilliant. it’s a shame it’s over your head.” ? I don’t think so - i mean, to some people the flow and staccato of gangsta rap is to their liking - and to others, not. But that doesn’t mean you have to imply the latter don’t “get it.” Maybe they just don’t like it?

also, confession time. i wanted so much to like e.e. cummings (and eliot etc.) back when i was in school but i just couldn’t get it. sigh. i guess i am dumb :(

By: Celeste

Celeste — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 22:52:12 +0000

Guys, as fun as it might be to pick on Allen, it’s not entirely necessary. He really did only state his opinion.

The point of focus should be her work, not one single person’s critisizm of it, right? I thought it was a beautiful story full of vivid imagery.
It’s the kind of memory you wish you had written in your diary somewhere for your grandchildren to read.

By: swan_pr

swan_pr — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:17:57 +0000

It’s what’s between the periods. Where Veronica’s Words direct us to. Nothing but the Words. She has enlightened me from the beginning, and I will always feel her light, no matter how little I write nowadays.

By: Goodwitch

Goodwitch — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:30:22 +0000

Periods?! Veronica’s words are like air. Each puncuation mark tells me to breathe: inhale, exhale or keep holding my breath.

By: richard

richard — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:48:18 +0000

The use of punctuation illustrates recall. Memory. Thoughts for which their is no other means of conveying their nature, which is fleeting. It’s more memory than story. I know few memories that flow evenly, conforming to complete sentences. They stagger, in flashes, through the mind, like a strobe.

Just my two cents.

By: Desiree

Desiree — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:43:30 +0000

If you changed the punctuation, and made the sentences flow on longer or whatever the hell you would do to change it, maybe that would be interesting. But then there would be new words, wouldn’t there? There would have to be. And all of these words here strike me perfectly. Nothing is too vague, but nothing is overstated. I do not want any of the words to change or move or twist or bend at all. They are positioned just exactly the way that I would like to read them. They are telling the story just the way that I want to hear it. I like the tone of this. This voice, the way that she writes, it’s got soul. It’s her own style. It’s where she’s coming from.

By: Brandy

Brandy — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:44:55 +0000

Allen . . .

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, of course.

That said: very often, Veronica’s prose reads like poetry. This is a great example of it. Poetry is freeflowing and punctuation is not only optional but placed liberally - literally at the writer’s whim to make a point. I believe - not having had the discussion with her to determine if this is, indeed the case - that Veronica utilizes the punctuation to make. A point. Deliberately. With forethought and measurement. Considering its weight and its impact.

It creates an ebb and flow of imagery, of sensation, and of emotion - which accompanies the tone of the piece in a lovely fashion, actually. If Veronica was consciously aware she was doing it when she was creating the vignette, then she’s a remarkable writer. If, however, she was unaware she was punctuating the piece as such . . . and it just happened - the words appearing on the page under her fingertips - then she is a writer that is truly talented and gifted beyond words.

So, while you are entitled to your opinion, Veronica’s writing touches many people, every day. That means something. It means a lot. Thanks for sharing, but if we were all in a bar together, having this discussion, you’d wish you hadn’t said it, and I doubt we’d buy your next drink.

By: admin

admin — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:26:18 +0000

@Bob: Well said.

By: Bob

Bob — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:18:40 +0000

Her punctuation is a little disconcerting at first until you learn that she is hitting you with a complete moment in time, a slice of life, with each period, semicolon, comma, whatever. They run together like film clips in the big picture of her story. It’s a unique and innovative technique that takes most people all of 30 seconds to figure out and appreciate.

I really applaud Veronica’s bravery in putting her soul - which, basically, is what her work is a reflection of - out for public scrutiny and criticism. Soooo much easier to throw shit at others work than to create works of value yourself. Especially work that makes you live the experience with the author and relate it back to your own. I love the emotional punch of her words.

So, Allen, where’s yours? Whip it out so we can comment!

By: Bing

Bing — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:36:08 +0000

It seems one would be embarrassed to show such ignorance, Allen. I applaud your bravery to let everyone see what an ass you are.